Social distancing for COVID-19 means big changes for all of our families.
As we prepare to make the most of things, it’s more important than ever to help our kids have a strong sense of security and positive self-esteem. Feeling secure comes from extra hugs and lots of snuggles at night. It also grows from having a rhythm to the day and knowing what to expect.
Creating a calm, secure environment for kids can be especially challenging during a stressful time.
We may be trying to figure out how to work from home, wishing we’d been better stocked up or be wondering how we’re going to make ends meet next month. And sleep? Forget it. That’s gone for a while. Especially with an abundance of grown up stresses, kids will do best if we can help them know what to expect and focus on things they can control. We might not know ourselves how it will all turn out or when things will get back to normal, but we can create an environment for our kids that’s exactly the opposite– where they know what to expect and where most of their day feels “normal”. This positive dynamic will be especially important for helping kids learn at home until schools open again.
I promise– the investment of getting an incentive chart going is absolutely worth it!
You’ll be amazed at how eager kids will be to do things “because the chart says so”. Not having to be a nag when you’re stressed out and tired out is an awesome little gift every time it happens!
To help you get started, here’s my latest Incentive Job Chart.
This is the chart I currently use with my 6 and 8 year old kids.
You’ll notice that the jobs go in chronological order through the day. This is important and helps kids stay on track themselves or recognize when they have forgotten to mark things down.
You’ll also notice that every day, I expect the kids to go outside for 30 minutes, read quietly to themselves for 30 minutes and do online learning for 30 minutes. Once this becomes “normal”, you’ll find that you have a consistent break during the day– chunks of time you can count on where you aren’t needed. It occurred to me recently that this is so much like the old days of napping babies. Remember how much you could do while the baby slept for 30 minutes? Having two hands to do what you needed was a lifesaver! I promise you that these small breaks in the day where your kids are quietly, happily engaged will be sanity savers in the coming weeks!
I encourage you to make this chart your own.
Add to it, change things up and make it work for your family. But give it a try!
Now, to the part where you may have to be a little bit of a nag.
Most kids will happily start something like this, but it can easily become another “Mom Job” if you’re not careful. Let me help you keep that from happening with some teacher tricks and experience from my family.
- Launch it Sunday! We talk about the jobs, add/ modify/ delete jobs as needed and hang up a blank chart for the coming week. Knowing what to expect during the week will help your family start off the week on the right foot.
- Make it important and obvious! Hang job charts up somewhere everyone sees it so it’s important and exciting. We tend to keep them near the dinner table. This keeps all of us noticing and talking about the jobs, which makes them important. It also invites praise and positive conversation. Recognizing your child’s hard work is a lot of keeping this working as a long-term strategy.
- Use stickers or something fun to mark off jobs! Even markers can be really fun for kids. Let them mark their jobs with marker smiley faces or stars, or let them color a finger tip with washable marker and “stamp” the boxes with fingerprints. This is half the fun for kids!
- Skipped jobs? Keep it positive! Life happens. A missed job shouldn’t be a reason for negative feedback. As long as most jobs are being completed, use missed jobs as discussion points. Talk about why the jobs didn’t get done and help find a solution. Sometimes, this can be a sign that the chosen job isn’t a good fit right now. You might delete it and find a different job that will help your child feel more successful.
- Make completed jobs matter! What will your child earn by doing all of this hard work? Will it be a game night with the whole family? A small surprise, such as a book or toy? Or will your child be able to earn an allowance with his/her hard work? Whatever works for your family, find a way to make it worthwhile to your child. Trust me– it will be worth it to all of you very soon!
- Use it to help your child’s math skills! My kids earn an allowance with their job charts because it naturally creates an incredible learning opportunities for counting, adding, subtracting and multiplying money. Down the road, you can also help them understand saving, budgeting and interest.
- Allowance details– math teacher tricks if you choose this option! 🙂 As a math teacher, I go one step further to make it appropriately challenging for my kids’ ages:
- Each of my 6-year-old’s jobs are worth 10 cents. Skip counting by 10’s is a 2nd grade standard, which is perfect for her!
- Each of my 8-year-old’s jobs are worth 8 or 9 cents– depending on which multiplication fact he needs to work on most. Every child from 3rd-5th grade math can benefit from knowing his/her multiplication facts easily, so I like to choose the ones he is struggling with most. Currently, it’s his 9’s! And when he complains that this isn’t fair because his little sister’s jobs are worth more, I remind him that he’s older and that he’s a problem solver. I have no doubt he can come up with a clever way to earn just as much as she does– like do an extra job per day for an extra sticker? Works for me! 🙂
- One last note: I also require that my kids set up a checking and saving account. $2 from the week has to go into their savings account. The rest can go into their checking accounts. They are responsible for keeping track of their account balances. If they don’t, I absolutely will not do it for them. They record everything in their own composition notebooks each Monday– or they don’t earn that week’s allowance.
I hope this helps tomorrow be a little more positive for your family. I’d love to hear how it goes for your family if you have a minute to leave me a comment below!